I hear someone coming up the stairs; a familiar scent fills my nostrils, I keep chewing for a while and then it hits me. It’s HER! She’s home early today. As she puts her key into the lock to open up the door, I run, run for my life to hide the evidence. Then I casually stroll back from my hiding spot (I’m not going to reveal to you humans where it is!) and greet her with licks and kisses like I always do. She pats me on my back, rubs my tummy and scratches me behind my ear in my sweet spot and at that moment I fall in love with her all over again. I waddle behind her like the perfect little angel she thinks I am. But, little does she know about my naughty side. But, that’s just going to be our little secret, yours and mine.

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I am Dog, Mr. Dog, and today I have a grave concern to share. It came up when I noticed Mom watching a trailer of a movie called The Secret Life of Pets. It made me question if life as we know it is coming to an end. The trailer revealed stunts that we pull every day when no one is around. The dogs in the trailer bared everything, from sneaking out of the house to drinking from the WC. I was particularly intrigued to see how the egg beater used by my Dachshund brother serves as a massager. As Mom squealed and laughed in excitement, I was full of mixed feelings. What would happen if and when humans came to know about our secret life? I have come up with two possible answers.

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Knowing humans and their finicky hygiene-seeking nature, I believe that this step would hamper the luxuries we have. I dread constant supervision. All my fellow pets deserve their space just as much as humans do. I don't question what humans do when we aren't around and neither should they. Our puppy eyes won't work anymore, the pretentious yelps won't help and without them, I doubt if we will get the level of pampering we do now. Are you saying that we will be held responsible for our actions going forward? That would be a total disaster. Even humans are infamous for not doing that.

On the other hand, perhaps if humans see the real way of our lives they would understand that we have a life of our own, need to be set free, need to run wild. Just thinking about this possibility makes me jump with excitement.

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Wait a minute, why is mom smiling at me, giving me that puzzled look? Is the secret out already? I suppose I should take it easy for a while and see how it goes. They said the cat will be out of the bag on 8th July, 2016. Till then, Hakuna Matata!